Allah (ﷻ) truly gifted us with the perfect guides, the Qur’an and the Sunnah of His last and final Messenger (ﷺ). In Surah Al Hujurat, the Surah in which Allah (ﷻ) teaches us very important relationship skills and manners. Allah (ﷻ) explicitly tells us to avoid suspicion and negative assumptions. He (ﷻ) advises us to avoid being suspicious, especially of our spouses, parents, children, siblings, relatives and people in general. Negative assumptions erode love.

Unfortunately, when we are upset, angry, offended, sad, or when we are experiencing surge of emotions or during a confrontation with someone, the first thing we do is look at them through a negative lens. Shaytan increases his whispers and we assume the worst of their intentions, words, actions and, ultimately, their character. At that moment we have to be mindful and remember that Allah (ﷻ) and His Messenger (ﷺ) warned us, “O you who believe, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin…” [49:12] “Beware of suspicion, for suspicion is the worst of false tales/form of lying.” [Bukhari and Muslim].

We should seek refuge in Allah (ﷻ) from these negative thoughts and follow the advice of our pious predecessors. Omar (ra) once said, “Never think ill of the word that comes out of your believing brother’s mouth…’’ Hamdun Al Qassar, said something very beautiful, “If a friend among your friends errs, make seventy excuses for them. If your hearts are unable to do this, then know that the shortcoming is in your own selves.”

Many studies on relationships have proved that assuming the best of others is one of they keys to maintaining healthy and happy relationships. Though it may seem apparent that the actions of your loved ones were to hurt you, it is more likely that it was not their intention. When you give your love ones the benefit of the doubt, you will be giving them, yourself, and your relationship a beautiful gift.

Seek refuge from the evil whisperings of Shaytan, give them the benefit of doubt, make excuses until those negative feelings subside and kindly ask for clarification if necessary.

Category:
  Reflections
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